That there will be a ‘someone’ for me, a ‘someday’ for me. That there is the possibility, however remote, of a new beginning, a new start for my failed life. Each day I try. Each day I hope. I hope you are well. I hope you are OK. I hope that I am at least a passing thought in your day to day life now. I hope you remember the things we talked about. I hope that someday we can still be friends. Each day I think. Each day I cry. I cry for the love I had to give up. I cry for the longing I have in my heart. I cry for the future that holds no joy for me. I cry and I wonder how I can go on feeling this way, lost and alone. I cry, with the knowing that I am lost, confused and alone. Each day I cry. Each day I worry. I worry that I can and will not make it. That I will attempt something irrational. That I will give in and surrender to my sorrow, my pain, my sadness. To take the cowards way out, the easy way out, the wrong way out. To write off a world that can be a beautiful place to be. So. There was frenetic activity with multiple machines open with bugs busy everywhere. Some of the others had explained to them about using coveralls for work and they were all dressed in a similar orange coverall. He decided not to disturb the work while he and his guests made their way to the canteen to have breakfast.He ate exceedingly well, at least twice his previous consumption, very much pleasing the kitchen staff who took his appetite as a vote of confidence. They made a big fuss of Felix. Marie made, for the first time, a new bacon slice cured in honey and sliced half an inch thick. Philippa tucked in eating voraciously. Robert, Marie, and the kitchen staff anxiously awaited his opinion after his first mouthful. Jason chewed the bacon slowly. He considered his opinion carefully.“I am uncertain about my opinion and I need to check the consistency and I would like another piece of bacon from the opposite end to be sure of my opinion.” Jason said as Felix grinned and Felix did not.
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